On the Moral Character of Leadership

Currently in the news is the lovely detail about our president's sex life that he may or may not have had sex with a porn star about a decade ago. Many of my conservative friends have posted on social media that they "don't care" if he did it or not since it was before the presidency, thereby implying that Bill Clinton is more of a lecher since he was a perv during his presidency.

I think it goes deeper than that. And please keep in mind that this comes from a die-hard conservative.

When are we going to be completely honest? We, as a nation, chose a couple of crappy candidates. Let's face it, every election the "lesser of two evils" vote becomes more and more pronounced.

I DO care that President Trump potentially had a "relationship" with a sex worker. It shows a lack of moral character and decent judgement on his part. Does it negate his ability to be president? Probably not. Should I have voted for Hillary? Goodness, no. But I do care. It matters. We need to not blindly follow either party's candidate or elected official simply because we don't like the other teams' politics.

My last post was a long time ago. Right before the election. The division in this country is horrific. No longer do we have intellectual debate. We have us vs. them. It's disheartening.

Yes, a Political (sort-of) Post

This round of presidential elections has me really upset. It seems that the immediacy of social media has stripped (many...but not all) Americans of their general respect for others. And I mean this for both parties.

I am a die-hard conservative. Most of my friends know this, and really, it's not a secret. I'm a gun-carrying, pro-life, fiscal conservative, strict constructionist regarding the constitution. BUT...I have friends on all levels of the political spectrum. Because diversity is an important thing. And if I only listen to people with whom I agree with 100%, how will I ever have opportunity for critical thinking?

A couple of examples, people who are on the same political side, but opposite ends of the civility spectrum.

One person, with whom I used to work, was constantly posting anti-gun sentiments on Facebook. I'm ok with that. You're entitled to your opinion, and I don't feel the need to "unfollow" my liberal friends, because I usually want to know what they think. However, it soon came to a place where every post that she wrote (about gun ownership) was full of vitriol and blanket statements. The final straw was when she said, in her own words (not a meme), that "all gun owners are ignorant assholes". And so I sent her a message and unfriended her. That is not a conversation. Because I am not ignorant (and usually not an asshole).

I have another friend who is a social liberal. She often posts thought-provoking articles that I read. Her posts, while I may not agree with them, are well thought out and usually leave room for discourse. Articles she has linked to have made me think, made me look at how we can make this world a better place. I find that she and I probably agree on the end goal, we just don't see the same path to get there. But you know what? That's ok. Disagreement with civility is OK. And beneficial.

We should be better than this as a society. Let's rise above. Let's talk. And most importantly, let's be kind.

Life as a Series of Constant Change

Arizona.

This falls under the "never-say-never" category.

While I don't have answers as to why God has brought me here, I really believe that he has. And in the meantime, I have down time. More than I want, but apparently, it's what I need.

I believe I've mentioned before that patience is not a virtue of mine. I'm totally willing to embrace change, to embrace love, to embrace newness and growth...as long as it happens quickly. Ha! Isn't that just the way we work.

It's beautiful here, in a much drier way than I'm used to. I know in a few weeks I'll be missing the rain, the trees, and the mountains. So in the interim, I'm going with the flow and waiting to see what God has for me.

And I suppose I'll have time to dedicate to writing again. It's funny, I always encourage people to express themselves artistically in whatever form appeals to them. For me, it's singing and writing. So why the reluctance to write?

Egg Rolls with Liz

My friend Liz makes the most amazing egg rolls and brings them in to us at work. Today she came over and showed Jeannette and I how to make them. Now my belly is full and my freezer has egg rolls ready to be fried for dinners. Yum.

Liz cooks like I do. Trying to get her to give me an approximate measurement is like pulling teeth. However, I did get some generalizations.

Here's what we used for the filling:

3 lbs ground turkey
1 whole garlic bulb
1 package of Asian vermicelli noodles
about 1/2 a head of cabbage, chopped
2 shredded carrots
a 9-oz bottle of oyster sauce
4 eggs (Did you know there were eggs in egg rolls? I didn't. Seriously, I figured the wrappers were made with egg noodles or something.)
salt and pepper

 

We think the filling would also be delicious wrapped in cabbage or romaine leaves.

 

Next comes the wrapping part. According to Liz, this brand of spring roll wrappers is the best. We used about 75.

 

 

 



 

There are various techniques for wrapping up the egg rolls. Liz kindly showed us the one that 2 year old Asian children can do. I think there may have been an implied insult in there....

 

After rolling them, seal them with an egg wash. Thanks for the stellar action shots, Jeannette.

 

 



 



 

This is a good point to pull some out for the freezer to cook later.

 

Deep fry the ones you want to eat now. We used canola oil, but Liz recommends grapeseed oil as it doesn't leave a flavor residue. Buy it at the Asian food market....it's a lot cheaper.

 

 

Then she made a spicy peanut sauce.

 

This consists of: peanut butter, cilantro, lemon juice, hot red peppers, and fish sauce. I won't even attempt to give measurements. Just do it to taste.

 

You would think that I would have taken some nice amazing shot of a few egg rolls on a plate with a delicate and attractive bowl of the peanut sauce. But that would have meant that they actually ever made it to the plate.

 

Nope, we just stood around and dipped them into the peanut sauce and kept going back.

 

Great fun, and intro to a food that was relatively easy, yet I never would have tried on my own. Also, Liz shared a bit about her Hmong culture and background. Since my only knowledge of that stems from Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino, essentially that means I know nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

Changes

So many things have changed for me in the past couple of months. Mostly, my heart has been broken. It's healing, but slowly.

I'm finding that the hardest part for me to accept is (surprisingly to me) not the loss of the man with whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life, but the changes that I see in him that I don't fully understand. It's like he is a stranger to me now. I feel like I've lost him twice. That's the worst. Not that I want to be friends. Please, no. Seeing him on a regular basis would be like salt in the wound. However, I'm ok. Not great, yet, but ok. And I know I will be fine. If I were a bigger person, I would say, "I just want him to be happy." But I don't....not yet. I really hope he's miserable without my love. At least for a long while, dammit.

I do, however, like living on my own. My time, my schedule, my quiet, my décor, my menus, my remote. I am indulging in a bit of selfish me time.

Life for now is in a wonderful little apartment in downtown Everett with my two furry feline roommates. One more and I can cross into crazy cat lady status. On my bucket list has always been living for a couple of years in a city where I can walk to most everything. Downtown Everett doesn't quite fit that bill (I was thinking more of downtown Seattle....or Chicago), but I can get most of my groceries at the little organic co-op down the street, my office is only a little over a mile away, and there are plenty of restaurants and the library close by. I do need a hardware store, and haven't come up with a walk-able solution for that. But I did find a couple of antique shops today. I'll have to dive into those in the near future. And there is a gorgeous view from the rooftop.

Books are being read, music is being listened to, kitties are being snuggled, friends are being treasured.

For me, right now...I am content.

quote of the day

Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do however virtuous can be accomplished alone; therefore we must be saved by love.

-Reinhold Niebuhr

13.1

My fitness goal for Summer 2015 is to run a half marathon in September. Specifically, the Skagit Flats half marathon. Notice the word "Flats". And it's just like it sounds....all flat. Flat is good.

Also, to clarify, when I use the word "run", what I really mean is "finish". I know that I will be jogging part and walking part...and I'm ok with that. The important thing is that I get myself into good enough shape to not embarrass myself, have an asthma attack, or cry. Especially no crying.

I took a gander at the stats from last year, and check out these times from the over 70 women's group.

Age 77: 2:40:19.2
Age 80: 2:44:27.8

Wait, what? The "slow" one in that age bracket was 79 years young and ran it in 3:27:05.9.  That's just under a 16 minute mile. I'm impressed.

Oh, it's on, 80-year-old....I am taking you down...

No.

That's bad.

Do NOT take out any octogenarians during the race, Karen. Sheesh.

Sometimes I cannot take myself out in public.

Happy Spring

Every spring is the only spring — a perpetual astonishment.
~Ellis Peters

When a new season rolls around, it instantly becomes my favorite. In the Pacific Northwest, even though the calendar officially announces the arrival of spring today, we have been in it's grasp for weeks already.  It's been a very mild winter, with not a single snowfall of any measurable accumulation. Rather disappointing, as I love the crispness and cold of the snow. The mountains, as well, are low on their usual reserve, which will make for good early summer hiking, but poor water supply.

Since this is my first spring in the new rental, it is such a joy to see what plants and flowers are coming up in the beds. I have a little hydrangea bush, peonies, a whole boatload of lilies which will need to be culled this fall, and an assortment of other small plants for which I need to find names and care instructions.

This weekend my goal is to pull together some sort of springy/summery décor. Pictures to follow. There, that obligates me.

I Had a Dream

Last night I had a dream with one scene so vivid that I took the time to write it down today. It would make a great jumping off point for a novel.

I have friends that are published authors and for years have thought that I would love to write a book. This prologue that I wrote this morning might just be my kick in the hiney.

My Valentines 2015

 

Joe was so proud of himself that he picked out the roses and the baby's breath (and vase!) and arranged them on his own. They really are beautiful. I had a few of these sparkly hearts hanging randomly around the house and the little paper hearts tucked into unexpected places.  

Collecting...and an Acquisition

One of my favorite quotes is by William Morris: 

 

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

I think for the most part I try to live by that. As I was eating lunch and thinking about what I was going to write, my first thought was to start with the caveat that I am not a collector.

But then I thought about the things that I like:

• vintage Pyrex, especially bowls
• ironstone platters and pitchers, etc
• creamers
• vintage linens
• Universal pottery Laurella dishes
• mid-century teak furniture
• interesting crockery

and I discovered that I am, indeed, a collector.

My hesitancy in labeling myself as such is that I really desire to be less bound up by possessions and things and to truly only have useful items in my home; and I like to delude myself into thinking that I am not a hoarder.

Also, the minute you start collecting something, invariably one of your friends will see that rooster you have on your kitchen counter, finds rooster salt and pepper shakers at a store, and buy it for you because they love you and they just know that you love roosters. Then another friend sees a rooster metal sign and gives it to you for your birthday.  Now, instead of just having that one awesome rooster that you found at the thrift store for $2 and thought was adorable (and you could easily dispose of when you tired of it)....you have the beginnings of a whole tacky collection.

Anyway, the point of this is....well, there is no point, just some thinking aloud. On to the acquisition.

When my mom was visiting at Christmas, we headed to the town of Snohomish and spent a very nice hour in an antique mall while my wonderful stepdad napped patiently in the car. As we were shopping, we were talking about the amount of Franciscan dishes that we see in the area, usually in the same few patterns (a lot of Desert Rose and Apple Blossom), but that I never see the pattern that I grew up with, Bird 'N Hand. I think my parents may have received this as a wedding gift, as it was only made from 1968-72. Perhaps it wasn't terribly popular, I don't know and that's why we don't see it. I do like it's simplicity, white with a black line drawn trim.

I mentioned to Mom that I would like to find a usable piece to have. She has a platter, but it is white with black trim and no design. I have kept my eyes open for years for a useful bowl or something.

Not more than 10 minutes later, a beam of heavenly light shone from above and brought my eye to the last remaining Franciscan Bird 'N Hand pitcher in existence. That may be a slight exaggeration, but I doubt you can prove otherwise.

And so I now have a piece of my childhood dishes. But I will not be collecting them. Never mind that I immediately went home that same evening and found a creamer on Etsy. And then ran into another creamer (for $3!) at the Goodwill last week. But I am not collecting them.

I think I shall consider myself a conservator. Doesn't that sound better?

Too Unfocused to Write

In my mind, my thoughts flow through my fingers to the screen like water down a hillside.  My ideas, plots, and opinions are clear and focused, and oh, so articulate.

In my reality, something always distracts me. Logging on to the computer to post, or to compose my thoughts, I find....new Facebook posts, Pinterest, emails, my favorite blogs.

My reading has suffered as well, with the distractions of electronics. I listen to books during my half-hour commute each way, but find that is not the same as delving through the pages on my own. And yes, I like the pages. Reading on the tablet doesn't have the same satisfaction for me, for whatever reason.

My new plan is to devote Thursday mornings (as I am off) to at least one blog post, on whatever subject happens to be on my mind, and to reading. Reading first. This morning I began the Edward Rutherfurd book, Russka. I loved his Princes of Ireland and this is another historical saga.

Discipline. Care. Time.

Or should I say, caring enough to discipline myself to take time.

I'm off to dig in to another chapter. No more computer until this evening.

Quote of the Day

I love following little rabbit trails of information. I find such interesting little tidbits about history that way. One such trail led me to this quote today:

 

I want everyone to be smart. As smart as they can be. A world of ignorant people is too dangerous to live in.

  ~Screenwriter Garson Kanin, from Born Yesterday, 1950

Seafood Potato Chowder

And now in the not-on-my-diet-and-I-don't-like-clams-anyway menu, I made chowder for Joe's dinner tonight. We also have enough to stick a few jars in the freezer for cool fall evenings. Here's the general instructions for the chowder. I measured nothing, so these are my best guesses.

Saute one chopped onion and a couple of stalks of celery in a little butter until softened.
Add about 4 cups of low-sodium chicken broth (or water)
Add chopped clams. I used about 8 oz we had frozen this summer, but a can or two would work.
Add shredded crab. I had about 6 oz.
Add about 1 cup of canned smoked salmon.

Smoked salmon can be salty, so I added no salt to the pot at this time. I used about a tablespoon of basil, a tablespoon of thyme, and about 1/2 teaspoon of pepper.

Bring to a boil and simmer 10 minutes to allow the flavors to develop.

Add a couple of large potatoes, cut into chunks. Continue simmering.

Create a roux with 1/4 cup of flour and butter. When the roux is ready, add some of the liquid from the soup and stir it in (so that when you add it to the soup, it doesn't get lumpy). Mix it in to the soup.

Add 1 1/2 cups of warmed whole milk or cream.

When the potatoes are ready, season to taste and enjoy.

True Heroism

This man is an ordinary person, who in his 20s, used his two week vacation to do something extraordinary. Not to relax, not to recharge, not to serve himself, but to serve others. It's worth the 15 minutes to watch his tale.

We've Come a Long Way, Baby

These are actual print ads from previous decades. I wonder how much we will look back on what is commonplace to us now and smack our heads in  shock.

I highlight a few with some mild gender stereotypes. Snort.

 

Oh, my. I learned to drive on my mom's Subaru. I'm glad I had not seen this ad. Of course, I wouldn't have understood all the innuendo at 15.

 

 

That $%*# won't make that mistake twice, apparently.

 

 

 

Not sure if the implication is that the catsup lid is easy to open or easy to figure out which direction to unscrew the lid. Either way....

 

 

 

 

I want to order that book. It sounds entertaining. Of course, "Do you still beat your wife?" is one of those question either a simple "yes" or a simple "no" will get you into trouble.

 

 

 

Appliances always make every woman happy.  Actually...that looks pretty spiffy...but I don't think I have EVER clasped my hands with glee.

 

 

 

Well. This add just sounds like a collection of bad pick-up lines. I quote: "Have you a perceptive eye, a mind like a calculator, a bend for men who did bikini panties, a passion for Fibber McGee, a cool head for business and an obsession for snakeskin backgammon boards?"

 

Oh...how did they KNOW about my secret passion for dead snake game boards and jersey nylon dresses!?

 

 

 

No comment needed.

 

 

I have NEVER EVER "thrived" on cooking, cleaning and dusting.

Just sayin'.

 

 

 

 

He will, if you are soft and smell good.

 

 

 

This last one is my favorite. I'm pretty sure she also tasted his food and will need permission to rise.

 

 

Some Thoughts on Exes

Exes.

It's hard to make it to your 40s, or even 30s, without having some sort of an ex. Whether an ex-spouse or an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, those feelings we have when the relationship ends are often painful and all-too-long-lasting.

Here's what I want to say to you, my friends.

Get Over It.

Really.

I'm not talking about the fresh break-up. It takes time to heal. I'm talking about the years-later-you-are-still-trash-talking-your-ex-and-thinking-of-ways-to-hurt-him kind of Get Over It.

I am talking to some of my friends, who are carrying around pain and anger, sometimes rightfully so, but who are allowing that hatred to infiltrate their lives. 

It will kill your soul.

I'm not foolish enough to think that everyone will be able to truly forgive their former love for perceived and actual wrongs. What I am saying is that you thinking about Him and how He did you wrong, how He spent all your money, how He treated you badly, how He moved on, and how you still want to run Him over with your car if you see Him, is doing no one any good. He doesn't care that you are ticked off. It isn't ruining His life. It's ruining yours.

I've been there. If I wanted to I could give a list of things my ex did that would curl your hair. But it's not worth my energy.  This weekend I am spending time with a whole bunch of people who last saw me when I was married. They knew my ex. There will be questions. That's fine. I will give them the truth, but abbreviated. Because I have moved on. I have Gotten Over It. And God has healed that pain.

Did it change me and leave scars? Of course. Did your break-up create long-term havoc and distress in your life? Of course it did. I'm not unsympathetic. You may not have wanted the divorce or you may have been the instigator.  Either way, it happened. You aren't responsible for punishing Him. Now is the time to move onward and upward.

 

Isaiah 43:18-19
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.” (NIV)

I wish I could guarantee that the people who need to read this would see it. There are many in my life who are so busy hanging on to their ex that their present and future is being wasted. Some are my friends, some are not.

Trust me when I say, your hatred does not hurt your former spouse, but it will kill you inside.

More Salmon

 

I am so glad that Joe gets to clean all the fish.  I did offer to learn, but we have come up with a good processing system that involves him fileting and me vacuum sealing and cleaning up. So I have dodged that bullet.

 

 Here he is just starting on my bigger coho (silver) from today. It was the largest one of the four in the boat (as I have mentioned to Joe about 642 times) and had over 4.5 pounds just in filets.

 

  I have become totally addicted to salmon fishing. Just the process of casting, reeling in, and being out on the river is so wonderful. When I am out there, I always think that I would be satisfied to just be sitting there...even if we aren't catching anything.

 

But then the fish hits the hook. And my heart races. And as Joe told me today...I get a crazy grin that doesn't go away until the fish is in the boat and unhooked. Then I can relax a little again. Until the next "fish on".

 

 

 

Isn't it a good sign when the filets hang over the side of my largest ironstone platter?  And this isn't even a huge fish. We weighed the meat we harvested today and we put more than 14 pounds in the freezer.

 

We also put up 2.5 pounds of eggs. We have a lot to do with them so we can use them for bait. Apparently there is a whole process that we need to put them through before we use it. I guess I will learn about that later.  I think the eggs are actually quite pretty just as they are.

 

 

Also this week I started some sauerkraut. It's sitting in a crock on the counter fermenting. We shall see how it comes out. I'm pretty excited about it, having never made it before.  More on that later.  But only if it turns out!

An Art Mystery

...mostly solved. At least to my satisfaction.

Our family has owned a lovely watercolor painting since the 1950s. It has been hanging somewhere in my home since adulthood and I have always loved it.

Here is the mystery. We have always referred to it as a Nome (Alaska) street scene, but have had only vague memories and recollections for verifications, as everyone from the generation that purchased it has passed away.

Multiple internet searches and even a call to the Nome Chamber of Commerce a couple of years ago yielded no information on the artist, clearly signed "Z Green".

It was a dead end, until yesterday.

One more random internet wander...and I found this postcard.

 

Now it may be a coincidence that the two little ones are wearing the same color jackets, but there is no denying the placement of the boardwalk and the telephone poles.

 

I suppose my next adventure will be to attempt to locate an actual copy of this postcard to attach to the back of the painting.

How to Grill Salmon

A few people have asked me recently how we like to grill our fish. It's probably one of my favorite meals, and very easy to prepare.

First, I prefer a charcoal grill. I know, I know, it's not nearly as easy as lighting the propane, but for pure flavor, it's how I really enjoy it.

Create a makeshift aluminum pan from heavy-duty foil. I am far too thrifty to buy one every time, and the skin will stick to the pan bottom, so for pure ease of clean-up, this is the way to go.

Lay the fish, skin side down, in the pan.

Silver salmon spread with homemade spiced peach preserves.

Season (here are a few ideas):

• spread with butter, sprinkle Johnny's seasoning, drizzle with honey
• apricot or peach preserves
• mix mayo, Dijon mustard, capers, salt and pepper, and fresh parmesan

Add about 1/2 cup of water to the bottom of the pan to keep the fish lovely and moist

Grill for approximately 15 minutes. Check for doneness easily with a fork. When fish "flakes" apart...it's ready to enjoy.

Eat.