Seeing my mom, my very vibrant and youthful mom, in her post-surgery condition was really tough yesterday. Even though she has struggled with joint stiffness and some relatively minor aches and pains in the past, she has never been down for too long.
I think this recovery may be hard on her emotionally for that very reason. She's the doer, the fixer of problems. When the surgeon today asked her if she regularly took anything for anxiety, she literally did not comprehend the question. Of course she doesn't. (I, on the other hand...) But I saw discouragement on her face numerous times today. While she was puffing into her spirometer (measuring her lung capacity), I watched her face as she was willing the bubble to rise higher. It didn't. I saw defeat in her face as she could only do one lap around the ICU. And I saw near panic as the doctor told her she could most likely return home in two days.
What she doesn't realize is that I also saw huge steps being taken. Yesterday, the walk around the ward was the shuffle of a sick, old woman. Today, those steps were much more certain and sure. Today I watched them remove the chest tubes from her wound. And most encouragingly, I watched her tease the ICU nurse, and in fact, make him laugh so hard he was shaking.
She has a long road ahead of her. My prayer is that she will see these milestones as what they are, steps on her road back to "normal".
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to [those who have] no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD Shall renew [their] strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:28-31
Karen I know how you are feeling. My grandma unexpectedly was admitted to Prov on the 1st. She is also a do-er and a go-er, at 93! Up until Dec. 3 she was living on her own, alone, in her own home. On Dec. 3 she fell and fractured her humerus, 3 ribs and most likely has a cervical fx or 2. She has been living at my parents since. On the 1st she was admitted with a Pulmonary Embolism. She too puffed into her spirometer willing the bubble to move. It did not. Over the next few days she made a little improvement but not enough to go home. On the 5th she was transferred to TCU. It was bitter-sweet. I know the therapy will help but I KNOW how she is, a "nursing home? That's where people go to die" she said to me. It broke my heart. She has been there almost 4 days now and I see she has made improvement, I hope she sees it too. Our plan is to get her strong enough to be at home at my parents house alone during the day. Only time will tell. I'll be keeping you, your mom and the rest of the family in my prayers!
ReplyDelete